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    Forwarding Address 28 years-old human... Pancreatitis Depressed
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2003-06-04 - 4:23 p.m. Work Whinge Today is the day I join Weight Watchers. In *looks at clock* about three and a half hours I will be teetering on a set of scales in my socks trying not to look to horrified at the number of pounds displayed on the counter. But I am glad the day has arrived � I am feeling increasingly unhealthy and run down and I�m looking forward to eating healthily, feeling less grumpy and seeing the weight start to come off. So, weight wise I am positive. Work wise? Not so positive. I feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall recently. It�s an obvious expression but the best to describe how I feel. I feel like I�m having Ally MacBeal style hallucinations all the time � people talk to me in a certain way, or say something in an email, or just do something intensely irritating and, while I look perfectly normal, I am actually battering them to the ground with a giant pencil, or taking a running jump out of the nearest window. I try really hard to make systems work, to streamline things, to be incredibly helpful. And I don�t do too badly. But something always happens to make it look like I�ve done nothing, or somebody takes credit for something I�ve done, and no matter how nice I am to people � generally they just seem to reciprocate with unhelpfulness and unfriendliness. I am getting incredibly fed up with trying and trying and trying and getting nothing but negativity in return. My bosses are lovely and always positive � though I think an increased workload and bout of sunshine has made tempers slightly frayed and patience is in short supply. And I am worried that negativity from others, who are too warped by their own hostility to accept genuine helpfulness and friendliness from the likes of me, will seep through and my bosses will lose faith in my abilities. *sighs dramatically* All in all � I feel like I am overworked but producing only 50% of what I could and I don�t know where to turn to improve my performance. And I don�t know how to make myself heard�or look professional. Oh I don�t know. Just needed to come here for a whinge today really� |
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