October 13, 2004 - 10:25 pm
Fun with Phone
In my previous entry I mentioned that Robbie Williams had brought me inspiration. Well here�s how...
I was just getting off a packed tube at Whitechapel this morning when my phone started ringing. My phone, when it rings, plays Come Undone by the great man himself. Only this time it started off with it�s usual snazzy beginning (which usually causes everybody on the train to look round to try and spot who that cool person is with the fabulous ring tone) but then it kind of descended into a wailing demonic screech followed by a low moan and finally a deceasing grumble and a�.ping. Then my phone vibrated once and turned itself off.
,p>
Perplexed I dropped in at the Vodafone shop off Brick Lane where the staff there informed me, gently but firmly, that it was time for my little phone to visit the great Carphone Warehouse in the sky.
*moment of solemn silence*
They managed to get my phone operational again, albeit it has a greenish tinge to the screen and it only sends text messages when it feels up to it. They told me to transfer all my phone numbers stored on the phone so I wouldn�t lose anything, and to email myself any photos I had saved. And so I started the long process of sorting through my pictures, going all the way back to Christmas 2002.
This diary entry is an account of what I found. Each picture tells its own story:
This is the very first picture taken with my new phone on Christmas Day 2002 (note the festive background of a Christmas tree and my patriotic pyjamas, one does not get dressed on Christmas Day until no present has been left unopened). Taken by my lil� sis Jen.
Aw. This is a, er, self-portrait of me and Mr D. We are dressed, so obviously all the presents had been opened, pah. If you look closely enough you will see that my classy diamante choker is offset beautifully by a pair of Christmas Penguin earrings. Pure style.
This is a very special photograph. That�s me in the red and my lil� sis in the blue. It is special because it was taken by my mother, to whom sending a text message usually involves sitting down comfortably with the instruction manual and her reading glasses. Also, it was about 11am on Christmas morning which means she was probably already a sherry or two into the day, it�s amazing she could take the photo with such a steady hand and without accidentally pressing the wrong button and texting �o*@~al0(%&^� to my boss.
Ah. Here�s my gorgeous husband, before he was my husband, relaxing after a traditional Scottish roast and awaiting the arrival of the flaming Christmas pud. Taken by me, on my mum�s sofa, Christmas Day 2002.
New Year�s Eve 2002. Photographic proof that Mr D (as Al Pacino in the Godfather) and Fairy (as Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction) are actually twins. Taken by me, (as John Travolta.)
My mother and her friend after a few sherries. Taken by me, sitting on my mum�s friend�s living room floor�also having had a few sherries.
I found this squirrel in Valentine�s Park in Ilford. He followed me until I relinquished some of my bagel, then obligingly waited whilst I took a photo. He looks to me as though he is saying �Did I leave the gas on?�
I don�t know why I have kept this on my phone for so long. This hippo belongs to one of my best mates, his name is Hozzie and he travels all over the world with his owner. Sometimes he send us emails, other times we get postcards, sometimes we get random articles through the post. Taken by me.
This is Norman. Self portrait by Norman.
 
The first of these pictures shows Fairy grinning drunkenly at me from the adjacent escalator at the end of a drunken night out, which had culminated in the stealing of a wine cooler and a candle holder from a trendy London Bar.
The second photo is the one that was taken as I fell off the escalator and landed in a wine-soaked giggling heap at the bottom. Both photos taken Drunk Ali.
Cor dear, that Fairy gets everywhere doesn�t she? This is her on my hen night wearing the hideous items that I didn�t want to! Taken by me�or rather by Drunk Ali.
Walter the Tiger sitting on my desk when I still worked in Hammersmith. I got him after collecting tokens in Boots. Truth is I spent more than I usually do in Boots in order to collect the tokens to get the tiger. He now lives on top of our living room bookcase and tells our visitors all about his life in service �30 years, man and boy, been a stuffed toy tiger�� Picture taken by me.
2nd December 2003. The Maldives on Honeymoon. Picture taken by me, knee deep in water.
2004, Irish Fledh, Finsbury Park, London. Si phoned us up to see if we wanted to go to the Fledh and we said yes. It rained all day and we were horribly hung over from the night before. Still nothing a polka dot umbrella and a bottle of wine can�t fix. Picture taken by me and Mr D.
Photo taken by me at the Fledh. This is Mr D and Si down with the massive. Word.
A picture taken on a walk with my father in Berkshire. I kept it just because I remember it being a good day.
Mr D taking a picture of me taking a picture of him taking a picture of me taking a picture of him�
*BIG SIGH*
I�m afraid this might have to be a two-part entry. My phone, alas alack, has just poodled out with a small vibration and a little �peep�. It needs a rest from all this emailing of photo messages. But there�s more, oh there�s so much more!
So off I go to drink some wine.
I feel, funny today. I feel alive and invigorated and renewed and � I don�t know. It�s hard to tell. I don�t know why, perhaps it has something to do with the dreams I have been having recently, really strange, unusual, fantastical dreams that fly me all over the world and tell me bizarre stories. I really don�t know, but I like it.
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