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Forwarding Address
August 03, 2005

28 years-old
April 19, 2005

human...
April 17, 2005

Pancreatitis
April 14, 2005

Depressed
April 13, 2005


The current mood of aliwalidoodah at www.imood.com

2003-10-14 - 11:20 a.m.

Feeling Glum

Travelling to work this morning I thought what if, instead of changing at Holborn for the Piccadilly Line, I just got off and went somewhere else other than work?

It�s been one of those mornings. One of those �what the fuck am I doing wasting my time with business I don�t give a damn about� mornings. Do I care whether or not certain architects get invited to a seminar in which I have no interest? No. Do I really care about filing away scores of minutes and reports on things I don�t care about and that nobody will ever go and read? Nope.

Six weeks tomorrow will be my last day at work for over a month, six weeks on Saturday I�ll be getting married, the happiest day of my life.

So why am I so fucking miserable right now? I should be skipping about eating lettuce and giving up alcohol in order to look the best for my big day, I should be a picture of girly happiness. All I want to do is wash down chocolate with wine and hide from the world for a week � why is this? I want to enjoy this time, I know I should be enjoying this time, but I just can�t. there�s so much to do and be done and get finished and organise and I�.just can�t cope with it all.

Why didn�t h2b and I just decide to run off and get married alone on a beach, just the two of us and nobody else? Because our marriage is about us, we are doing it for us alone.

My advice is this: if you�re getting married do everything, absolutely everything, exactly how YOU want it to be done. Maybe that�s what I need to start doing now�

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